Wild Wing
by TristraCross
Summary: There were a few people who complained, so I'm putting up a warning. There is a lil bit of Yaoi if you don't mind, and just for the record, there is no plot to this story what-so-ever, it's strictly humor. Drunken Pilots. What more can I say?


By: Celina The Rogue Vampire, with the help of Tristra Cross 

By: Celina The Rogue Vampire, with the help of Tristra Cross   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Quatre sat at the table. The dinner was ready, but the others weren't home yet. They said that they were only going out to a movie and would be back at 6:00. It was 11:00 now. Heero had gone with them and Heero was never late. Something serious had happened to them, and he had to get them home. The dinner was getting cold. Maybe he should check the theatre first. Getting up, Quatre grabbed a breadstick for the road, picked up his keys, and headed to the garage.   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~   
  
When Quatre didn't find the girls or the guys in the theatre, his eyes landed on the bar. Maybe he should get a drink before going. As he walked closer he saw Duo's car parked outside.   
  
"Oh no." said Quatre sadly.   
  
He entered the bar and saw thousands of people gathered in front of the stage. Quatre made his way to the first row and gasped at what he saw.   
  
Heero had his shirt off and was swinging it wildly around above his head and he was singing something. Not to mention he was break-dancing. Behind him he saw Celina and…Tristra? Celina and Tristra were dancing together and they were hanging all over Heero! What was going on? As the smoke behind them cleared, he made out the figures of Trowa, Duo, and Wufei. They were all naked except Duo had his boxers on, Trowa had his pants on, and Wufei had his pants on…which was barely hanging onto his hips. Where were Silvia, Amber and Veronica? Then he heard a whoop from somewhere in the crowd. Jumping up and down for a better look, he saw Amber doing the worm on the floor. Quatre moved in for a closer look. Yep. It was Amber. 'Man…I didn't know she could do that.' Turning his attention away from Amber, he glanced over at the bar and saw two girls with their heads dropped against the counter. It was Veronica and Silvia!   
  
"Geez…how much did they have to drink? Silvia can't manage more than three shots." Beside the two drooping heads were about 50 shot glasses. "Oh no. I'd better get them to the car. Struggling out of the crowd, Quatre gently picked up Silvia and Veronica and tossed them over his shoulders. 'How'd they get so heavy?' Quatre made his way outside the bar and opened the car with one hand and put them into the back seat. Closing the door, he walked back inside the retrieve the other pilots. Right when he entered, he was grabbed from behind by two strong hands that wrapped around his waist and pulled him into the crowd. They dragged him onto the stage and into the smoke. Then the two hands whipped him around to look him in the face.   
  
"Trowa!!!"  
  
"Hello, Little One."   
  
"Trowa!! What are doing –mmmm"   
  
Trowa silenced Quatre with his lips. He wrapped his arms around Quatre's neck and pulled them both to the floor. Running one hand along his back, he playfully started unbuttoning Quatre's shirt. Quatre was so caught up in the moment that he had no idea what he was doing, all he knew was that the sensations that Trowa's kiss was creating were unbelievable. He felt so fuzzy and heavenly. He placed a gentle kiss on Trowa's lips, then on his chin, then lower to his neck. He moved his hands down to Trowa's hips and started caressing his thighs. Meanwhile, Trowa was gently suckling on Quatre's right nipple, and sliding his hands along his abdomen. Tiring of this game, Trowa brought Quatre to a kneeling position and started giving Quatre a blowjob while Quatre moaned out loud.   
  
It must have been an hour since he blacked out. He found himself in Trowa's arms, the spotlights flashing all around them in all sorts of colors. Glancing around him, he saw Heero, still break dancing and he had stripped down to his boxers. His bowers were filled with money. At the front of the stage he spotted Tristra and Celina. They were singing (more like yelling actually) a naughty version of 'Come On Over'. To his left he saw Duo and Wufei, who were making out there was no tomorrow. 'What is going on here??' Quatre asked himself silently. He looked himself over and found that he was naked. He screamed and started feeling around the smoke-covered stage for his clothes. His hand landed on something soft and warm. Kinda like a breadstick. He gave it a little tug, thinking it was the toe of his shoe, but when the smoke cleared the saw the sweat-covered figures of Wufei and Duo. He was holding onto Duo's…er…thing.   
  
"Yikes! Uh…sorry." Cried Quatre, crawling away from the apparently very 'busy' pair.   
  
He felt around some more before he found his pants. Slipping them on, he confirmed where the others were and made his way to Trowa. With a sudden burst of strength, he flipped Trowa over his shoulder and ran outside to the car. The cold night air was like ice to his warm skin, sending chills down Quatre's spine. Opening the car door, he was relieved to find that Veronica and Silvia were still knocked out cold. Smiling, he plopped Trowa in the front seat and retreated again to the bar. He came out a moment later with a still singing Tristra. She was banging Quatre on the head and was cursing at him to put her down and take her back to her 'playground'. Quatre dumped her in the car and slammed the door shut, making sure to lock it. In he went again, only to come out with some form of Celina, who was still singing loudly and was holding on to the microphone for dear life.   
  
"NNOOO! Gimmie bak myco! Gimmie back my myc-YIKES!!"   
  
Without a care, Quatre dumped her in the car on top of the still yelling Tristra. Quatre was getting very tired of this. He stormed in again. Coming out dragging a thrashing Duo by his braid. And the Chinese pilot that was still kissing him passionately. Like they were sacks of seeds, Quatre tossed them into the car. Walking away, he could hear the four of them yelling and cursing at him to get his little ass back there and 'entertain' them. That was the last straw. Quatre had had enough.   
  
"Grr…ENTERTAIN YOURSELVES!!" he yelled back at them when he was a few feet away from the door.   
  
"Hey! That's not a bad idea!" came the muffled voice of Duo. Then it was quiet.   
  
Quatre ran back into the bar and came out with Amber's boneless body and Heero's kicking persona. Quatre opened the door to the car…and closed it.   
  
"Okay…" said the unsure Quatre.   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~   
  
Quatre drove home in silence, listening to the soft groans and faint cries that frequently came from the back seats. And the yells that were coming from Heero and Amber from the top of the van.   
  
"This is gonna be a loonngg~~ night." Sighed Quatre.   
  
Actually, it was more like morning. It was now 1:33 AM.   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~   
  
Somehow, Quatre had managed to get all nine drunk pilots into the house and in the bedroom…since they had refused to go into their own bedrooms, they had decided to 'claim' Quatre's bedroom as their own. Quatre sighed and walked over to the bar that was in his room. Regardless of what he poured into his glass, he drank…and drank…and drank. Quatre glimpsed at the bottle of his drink. The last thing he remembered was the label on the bottle that said: 'Duo's Special Vodka' before he fell into the state of drunkenness.   
  
After Quatre got drunk, it turned into a pretty wild night. Quatre and Trowa started kissing desperately and were fondling with eachother. Trowa was giving Quatre another blowjob. Shortly afterwards, they moved into a 69 position and continued their 'play'.   
  
Veronica and Silvia were asleep. Both looking as calm as a kitten. They must have been dreaming some pretty wet dreams, considering their surroundings.   
  
Amber and Heero were standing in the shower together. Then they slowly made their way out and sat in the middle of the room singing something from Prince.   
  
Tristra was lapdancing on Duo. Her graceful hands sliding down his body until they came to Duo's crotch area and squeezed the boxer-covered shaft. Duo moaned in agony and pleasure as Tristra continued to rock her hips against Duo's.   
  
Celina and Wufei were in the bed under the covers where occasional cries were heard. Celina lay there under Wufei's fragile body, her hands held above her on the pillows by the strong hands of Wufei. Celina groaned softly, while Wufei was kissing his way down the girl's slender column of her neck…getting lower and lower.   
  
Needless to say it was a very interesting night.   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~   
  
Then next morning, Tristra and Celina woke up at the same time. Tristra was still on Duo's lap, and Celina was in the arms of Wufei. They stared at eachother, and then Tristra screamed.   
  
"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"   
  
Of course, that was enough to wake up the whole neighborhood. The others woke up with a jolt. Then there came three other screams:   
  
"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"   
  
"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"   
  
"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"   
  
However…Celina didn't scream. The other girls looked at her like she was crazy.  
  
"What? I'm comfy." The others' eyes (with the exeption of Wufei) widened at the statement as Celina quietly snuggled against Wufei's side.   
  
"Trowa? What are doing with Quatre?" asked Veronica.   
  
Trowa could see the end of his life coming…very slowly. "Well…um…I…uh…"   
  
"That's IT! YOU'RE DEAD!!"   
  
Veronica jumped on Trowa and started beating the hell outta him.   
  
Trowa reacted by grabbing Quatre's hand and running into the bathroom. The others just exchanged glances as Veronica tried to peel the door off the hinges.   
  
"TROWA!!! TROWA!!!! TROWA OPEN THIS FUCKIN DOOR AND LET ME KILL YOU!!!!!"   
  
"Uh, Veronica?" asked Silvia. "Maybe you're overreacting about this. After all, we were drunk, and we had no idea what we were doing…right?"   
  
Veronica shot her a glare and kicked the door one more time before storming out of the room and slamming her door.   
  
"It's okay Trowa. You can come out now."said Tristra, her body on Duo's now knocked out form. Duo looked really bad. He had a black eye, a bleeding cut on his mouth, and a bloody nose. I guess you don't need to be told that Tristra pretty much beat Duo up after finding out that she just slept with the most annoying guy on the planet.   
  
The door cracked open and a bang, followed by a pair of green eyes and a snuggly nose peeked out from behind the door.   
  
"Trowa! Go!"   
  
Suddenly, Trowa fell straight forwards and landed smack on his face on the floor. From behind him, Quatre giggled and stepped over him.   
  
"Well…" said Quatre clapping his hands together…his voice a little too chipper, "Who's for breakfast?" END OF FIC...   



End file.
